GWWF GWWF!

and yet... I still feel like

2007-08-22T14:00:00.001-04:00

Apocalypse

Apocalypse		100%
Magneto		99%
Dr. Doom		90%
Catwoman		89%
Dark Phoenix		88%
The Joker		85%
Riddler		84%
Juggernaut		84%
Two-Face		84%
Green Goblin		84%
Lex Luthor		80%
Poison Ivy		80%
Mr. Freeze		77%
Venom		76%
Kingpin		64%
Mystique		52%

You believe in survival of the fittest and you believe that you are the fittest.

Click here to take the Super Villain Personality Test

I am going to kill myself, Pt. 2

2007-08-21T18:23:00.000-04:00

ARGH•UGH•SIGH!!!!

What a freaking day.

No one can get my freaking name right. I have 2 last names and they
are reversed on my plane ticket. Now, even after my constant haggling
with 3rd party travel agent, even tho it's all their fault, the only
thing that they can suggest for me to do is pray that the lady at
the ticket counter ain't in a bitchy mood.

cuz if she is...

she ain't letting me on my plane.

And to make matters worse, the customer service rep. that I've been dealing
with of said agency, can't even get my name correct either! Even after
I've told her what it was she started a letter to me as...

"Dear Mr. Mujinaga..."

OMG I'm going to fucking kill myself. And to make matters worse, I'm supposed
to host this meeting where my name is on there by mistake.

WTF!?!?!?!?

What else can possibly go wrong today? Being told to scrap this...

Fig 1.

For this run-of-the-mill DC bullshit everyday crap...

Fig 2.

...this (ugh)

with one slab of a "I don't get iiiiit" comment

Spaztic Humpday

2007-08-15T17:56:00.000-04:00

uh oh... somebody woke up on the ditsy side of bed.

After cramming an unusually larger than normal load OF WORK
over the past couple of days, today I woke up by the sheer chance of
hearing the city's incessant sirens going off on the busy street
that we live on. I don't even remember getting into the showers'
but when I did, I couldn't even muster the energy to bend over
to wash my feet... it was so bad... it was like a pseudo puerto rican
shower except I did use soap, but only from the neck to thigh region.

It was like flapping hands over myself while lathering/washing/peeing
all at once. I couldn't even be bothered to wet my hair. I still was
so out of it that when I looked at my reflection, I was already satisfied
with my 'bed-head' look and didn't see the need for a shave, which I've
done daily since 13. Thank god I was raised right because I made sure to
pack a pack of chewing gum, even tho I do recall brushing my teeth.

To seal the deal, I took an official mexican bath and spritzed the
yuppiest gay stench we have, Gaultier me thinks.

By the time I played dress up, I was an automatic taxpayer in motion.
Item by item, my innate design sense dressed me up spiffily, trusting that
the end look would be better than if I had actually tried to look good.

The outcome garnered me 3 compliments this morning alone, so trust me, I'm
that good, heh. But my sense of perspective must've been off cuz I jumped
at the sight of my shadow, tightened my belt buckle 2 holes too much and
wore a pair of underwears that are as we type here, WAY TOO TIGHT I
feel a groin pain coming on... ugh

But what I think was the dumbest thing I did today was walk out the house with the
TV remote control on my way to work and didn't even realize it even after dialing
on it and putting it onto my ear for a while. Only when I angrily looked at
what I thought was my cellphone for the lack of tone, did I see that it
was a remote controller. Talk about an embarrassing walk of shame back home.

Another thing I have to note to myself about is that, 2 days old Chinese food
is way too old to eat anymore.

self actualization

2007-08-14T12:16:00.000-04:00

sadly, today marks a tragic day that one has to acknowledge.
it has been some time coming, and yes, foolishly, i have been
putting the obvious aside for a moments worth of extended happiness.
alas, no more able to face myself for the lies i have been telling
myself time and time again, i, have been forced to realize the
truth that is of my core.

no sympathy needed, i deserve what i have bestowed upon myself.
you can only blame others for so long, but, in the end of the day,
you have to face your own demons. and to continue to deny the
obvious because of some uncomfortable truth, will only prolong the
problem, where, in the end, dare i say, may leave me in a predicament
far worse than one can ever imagine...

today, i threw away all of my size 29 jeans...and some of my size 30
pants too

bwahahahaaaaa

DC Restaurant Week

2007-08-08T14:18:00.001-04:00

should be called DC RestauRANK Week!

Serving days old less than par marginally passable foods during this week to
promote your services defies the purpose of this events' intent.

Without naming names, dc chop house's, olives were fermented, steak was plane old
bland, tough and did I say old? Strawberry shortcake was a biscuit halved with
iced whipped cream and canned strawberries if ever such a thing did exist.
Wilted Caesar salad, crumbling corn bread and waaaay smaller than usual appetizer
portions...The only good thing that came from it was the functioning AC in
the blistering heat, unlike Ja... no names no names

things not do to

2007-08-07T11:14:00.001-04:00

point out a new friend's facelift scar, they are no longer your friend.

tell a family member that their spouse treats them like shit, it's NOYB apparently.

make plans with everybody and follow through on nobody, shifty shady flakey.

CTR

2007-07-31T09:17:00.000-04:00

last weekend, at a jewelry exhibition soiree, too gay and they only had champagne drinks, i wore this little piece of jewelry to play my part at this event. still hurting from the night before, i jokingly "acronymed" the initials of the ring, CTR, to cuntaroo. my boif loves Ru, Roo of Winnie the pooh and me, only being able to device cunta from the letters C and T, came up with this cutesy bit, cuntaroo. my bu is a cuntaroo and on and on i giggled while calling him that. he didn't mind at all, he got the joke, it was an intimate moment shared in the showers'.

so we're at this soiree, and i'm having glass after glass of veuve clicquot where i was actually having a pretty decent time with these ladies of the yesteryear's punctuated conversations about jewelry, hereditary rights and who's who of purchased art. when out of no where, one of them, whom i was suspecting as a lesbian, pointed to my pinky ring and asked me if i knew what it stood for.

this pinky ring i had on was shaped like a teeny green medallion with the initials, CTR, on it. a gift that my bu had gotten from this girl in kindergarten. being a pack rat, he's kept it all these years and i had appropriated as my own and worn it to this event of jewelry. without letting the lesbian further divulge what she thought it meant, i told her that i didn't know, but had made a silly nickname from it for my boif using these initials, which she then asked for. hesitantly, i told her, knowing that, it was a semi-insult to any woman, but, hey, she seemed lesbianic so, i thought, what the hell, she must love pussy.

turns out it's a ring for the Mormon faith and that no, she's not a lesbian but had just suffered from cancer and was recovering from chemotherapy which was why her hair was short and not dyke-ish. oh, and it stands for "Choose the Right."

woops

oh hush already! turns out that she's Mormon, as was her 'friend'... who also
appeared lesbianic to my blurry intoxicated eyes.

lord all mighty jesus christ for the love of god jesus joseph and mary...
why in the world do i always end up putting my foot in my mouth.

oh well, at least i know what that ring stands for and it's not cuntaroo anymore...

stay away from me you fat cow!

2007-07-26T12:24:00.000-04:00

OBESITY IS CONTAGIOUS....wow

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/26/health/26fat.html?ei=5070&en=8c861dec2a3deb73&ex=1186027200&adxnnl=1&emc=eta1&adxnnlx=1185467266-MatQZeETPtmK+SVaSVQInA

just another reason to hate... if you can't fix the problem, hate it. vaguely reminds
me of "this is your brain on drugs" campaign. why isn't anybody stating the obvious?
our tainted hormonally grown mass produced cannibalism-fed over processed food is to
blame! or howabout the amount of food that is served in every single eatery in this
country? or, why is eating healthy so goddamn fucking expensive!?!?!

its not sharks eating people, tornadoes destroying cities, it's fat is contagious now.

seriously, our news media is crap at the very best. this blind belief that they have
of serving the medium by reporting the truth is so scandalously untrue, much so like
their way of sensationalising everything for ratings, i can't even begin to comprehend what is what anymore.

now if ALLI sales go astronimically up, liposuction procedures increase by the meta-fold and sales to mouthwash increase to sky limits due to a sudden pitch in bulimia, heh heh, i would die laughing at you people.

in the end of the day, if those fatties are happy chugging food, let them!

now it seems like it's OK to hate on fatso's.... especially since you can catch it.

WOW

Cribbing

2007-07-23T15:23:00.000-04:00

so this is how they do it... pool, gym, arcade, stocked fridges, bars, saunas, jacuzzi, tennis court, grill, cabana, jungle gym, sega, nintendo, man u name it.
it was like going to club med, only, in long island, my girl lilo's hometown and even more exclusive, privately owned. one half of me couldn't get over it, the other half just so overwhelmed, i just about passed out and kept passing out everywhere. out on the couch, on the perfect 5000 count thread impossibly plush yet firm mattress, on the floor, on the lawn, in the pool. what with the most beautifullest, is that a word, weather ever, i was THIS close to achieving heaven. it would have been perfect, alas, this is just reality and we are cohabitants of mother nature.

what can it be? what can be missing? what in the world can this snippey queen whine
about to point out something less than perfect in a more than perfect moment?

olives for me dirty martini. can i be that spoiled that a simple garnish to a
priviledged cocktail can put a damper on my mood. well, i guess so, cuz once back home,
nothing felt more perfect than that first sip of dirty ketel flowing down my throat.

ahhh... sometimes, perfect just isn't quite so unless u define it so.

playing passed out all weekend long was fun tho...

simpsonized bfs

2007-07-18T15:09:00.001-04:00

2.5

2007-07-17T12:29:00.000-04:00

today marks the 2.5 anniversary of boyfriendship.

i would write something sappy and totally meaningful only to us but,
work has me swamped already, again, and as usual and besides, it'd be
better to do it in person...

love u buface

wbu

Rated

2007-07-16T17:26:00.000-04:00

Mingle² - Online Dating

inheritance

2007-07-11T17:19:00.000-04:00

unlike most, i didn't get any. instead, i got lousy genes and 3rd generation hand me down dysfunctional issues passed on to me.

imagine the surprise when you realize that not only are you actually your parent's child, but also, are living the exact same problems day in day out.

where's the sign-off sheet to this mess!?

guess in a brighter note, you KNOW how it all ends.

argh

why do hollywood moms grow their son's hair long?

2007-07-02T14:55:00.000-04:00

so that they can chop it off later and use it as their own hair-extensions...

boys's hair are far more durable than girls and when they finally cut it off, no one's the wiser to wonder why and just assume that it was about time to do so... as in will be the case of Elle Mcpherson. besides, children have the BEST natural looking highlights ever.

tralala

2007-05-09T16:54:00.000-04:00

i'm going to europe and will be feeling like this

it's the way she says it that makes it funny... to me

2007-04-27T18:10:00.000-04:00

the things i would do for a friend

2007-04-24T13:49:00.000-04:00

last weekend, saturday, we were supposed to have a birfday party for one of my lezbot ex' that was just coming back from Qatar. her deaf girlfriend was organizing this surprise party thingy but, naturally, what with her certain condition ensuing, plans were not going smoothly.

on the actual day of the party, at 5pm, we had not heard what was going to happen nor had anybody else about time, place etc etc... so we instead went ahead a made dinner plans for the sum of us, just to enjoy the beautiful day that it was with merry company. as you would have it, the party girl calls finally leaving this tone deaf message about what is happening when and what.

but we were over it by then and decided to meet up with her later, at a bar, to congratulate her with shots and drinks. what she didn't realize was that we were going to meet up with her way later than she had imagined, i suppose.

so when we finally make it, 4 hours later, she is leaving the bar, enraged as any drunk lesbian can be. IT. WAS. UGLY. she was shotting daggers to my poor friend who was unable to come up with any descent excuse, one that she had many of, and seeing that this poor girl was enduring the wrath of the drunk birfday lezbot a bit too much, i quickly went into "salvage friend mode"

i gave the birfday girl the diarrhea story.

i will let you deduce what it was about, too gross to go into it, but, it was so successful, we all ended up heading back to the bar, having shots, even getting a free round of drinks! from a lesbian bartender! that was a good time had after all.

ahyaa

2007-04-12T22:27:00.000-04:00

what do you call it when you inadvertedly say something politically incorrect in front of the very person that is the topic matter?

dumb.

plain and simple, dumb.

BUT, what is it when it happens subconsciously in a way that it doesn't register to anybody but to yourself immediately and to others in hindsight?

wicked dumb.

for a looong time i've been able to tread the 'i no speaka engrish good' and get away with alot due to my so-called flamboyantness, but, lately, even for me, i feel like i am pushing the limit.

am i frustrated? am i unhappy? am i repressed? i think that i'm just bitchy.

wicked and bitchy sometimes. hmmm... i think i just called myself 'old'

sighrumph!

does it even matter?

2007-04-10T18:22:00.000-04:00

as one of my most esteemed revered one put's it, "how do I say this delicately?" does it even matter how much i try anymore? does it even matter that i care? ponder? stride? aspire? challenge—when, a more than obvious safe, 'cute,' option is selected instead of any of my "enthusiastic" ones...

it reminds me of when a less than talented but oh so socially acceptable colleague was handpicked to join one of THE firms in NYC. Naturally, I and my excruciatingly talented best frenemy, wanted to drop out at the spot. I mean, this girl used China Red and Futura on every single page, with her opposing colours being black and white, NATURALLY, and with her layouts being obviously swedish, page after page. She didn't even cut, cross, turn or reverse type in any which way imaginable and yet, she, she was the one that was chosen over all of us.

Us.

Us who stayed up late nights perfecting the flow of text upon the page.
Us, who double hit with laser print on matte stock in reverse because what mattered was the message delivered in its content presented. Us, who lived, breathed, read, wrote, studied and believed in its purist aesthetic form that it was to be innate and not contrite... us... were the overlooked lot.

Of course, not 2 years in that firm, she married a nice jewish doctor and moved to Jersey to pursue her passion of bearing more japs and slighting us less fortunate from once in a life opportunities because, we, we, did not have the panash, pizazz, posh as she had like in those that didn't really have to struggle to amount to anything.

people don't like to see struggle. people don't like to see effort. people want to see that it is done easily. no one cares buddy. to care is to waste time.

why do i even care? because i don't know otherwise. i am trapped in my misguided belief that things matter, people care, a difference can be made

monday meltdown

2007-04-04T13:19:00.000-04:00

"Time goes by so slowly for those who wait and those who run seem to have all the fun." I just found out that this lyric from "Hungup" actually came from a duet with Prince, "Love Song" from back in 1989, on her "Like a Prayer" album.

completely discombobulated i found myself in a coffee shop dialing the number of my boif, who then lead me to work. ultimately frustrated at an outcome where i have no control over, the past 6 months came pouring down on me harder than anything i could have ever imagined. all of the sudden, the impact of loss became palpable and it felt like i was losing myself. i was grasping at anything familiar in the hopes of regaining control but it appeared that i was losing. the floor was moving in patterns, noise was all directed towards me, i couldn't make front from back, all i wanted to do was to hold onto anything that would lead me from losing it.

i went by the day in a daze. trying to finish up a simple job, like typing seemed like a monumental effort to do. i was going crazy and there wasn't anything i can do about it. so i drank. i drank a stiff martini before my meeting and it all went down as smooth as the drink down my throat did. i felt like i wasn't even there. but it was saved and when i was done, i crashed like never before.

i will beg for

2007-04-01T13:13:00.000-04:00

a printer that just prints when i ask it to print

a pair of jeans that will fit regardless of my bloat

a fair assessment of character before i open my mouth

that i don't have to explain meself to every degree possible

working out that makes a difference

synchronocity within the world around me

dividing point

2007-03-27T19:08:00.000-04:00

at what point do you decide?

i have it

2007-03-22T16:57:00.000-04:00

so? what's the big deal? she personally texted me telling me that it was going on sale today. i HAD to go get these.

:)

calm in the storm

2007-03-18T14:03:00.000-04:00

the server problem that was haunting me has now seemed to have gone out to client-side too. happy and elated, that i have a moments rest to breathe deep finally. what do i do? play catchup? make the most of it? not really. i should.

i was worried about a certain blogger recently. my usual daily readings consist of a handful who i like to keep abreast of from my anonymous comfortable cube. tuesday i went to his site, down, wednesday i go, offline... thursday, friday the same... and i am a bit worried because one of his last posts was about his ever struggle with depression. let this be known to all now. i didn't grow up in a society that took mental issues seriously until AFTER i left that country so, as usual, i missed the boat on my pity parade. argh!

anyways, depression has hit home in recent years. and not being aware of it nor have had anything to do with it, nor say, even try to fake have it... has left me never like before felt so powerless about this. i have no power in making someone feel better, at all. only recently did i realize the severity of it and it frightens me that some do not have the strength or capability to slap that bitch aside and live life fully.

it really really does surprise me. and that is just how it is going to be. so i keep my fingers crossed and actually pray to god that my beloved never tries to do anything stupid. getting A word out of him is always difficult and when i try to leap on to expand on it, i can see him shut right back down. and if you've never encountered this before, the harder you fight, the faster you'll get to a dead end. in this case, i never ever want to reach that dead end.

so i was wondering about this blogger, thinking the best fearing the worst. when last night i decided to go have a VERY WELL DESERVED DIRRRRTY MARTINI and who do i see? the blogger! working at that place! and OH MY GAWD! he seemed fine... but u never know what lies beneath. just putting that in, just in case.

so naturally i wanted to go up and be all like, HEY, how are you and whazup with ur site dude, nice ink man... when it hit me. he don't know me. and i realized, what is proper blogger to blogger protocol? it's like, i know so much about this person, cuz, he lays it out all there pretty thick. things you would never know unless almost intimate.

at what point, does knowing about someone, turn into knowing that someone?

good lord i sound like Carrie from SITC.

"I was sipping on a well-chilled very dry very dirty martini at this swanky porno art house showing when this dirty person asked me a very dirty question...."

^_^

see... this is what i do. i make myself laugh. hello? table of one?

wits end

2007-03-16T13:56:00.000-04:00

impossible deadlines

stupid clients

boring jobs

my ever expanding waistline

this weather!!! NO MORE COLDNESS!!!

and the top item to bring me to my wit's end is....

having to work on a weekend for the 6 month in a row!!!

ARuGulaHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!